Bacon is so going to kick Mayo’s ass…
Just three things to say:
1. OMG!!!
2. Why didn’t I think of this?
3. OMG!!!
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/24/porky-princess-tiara.html
http://theanticraft.com/archive/beltane08/porkprincess.htm
Thanks to Daniel for pointing this out.
consumed on 6/8/08
I’m on Whidbey Island for the weekend, driving towards Double Bluff when I see a simple, hand-painted sign announcing “EGGS.” I’m in a (modern day) foraging-for-food kind of mood so I pull up the drive.
I see a man in the window staring blankly out at me and wonder if I’ve got the wrong house. There are no signs indicating eggs, only a sign that reads “Hippies Enter Here.” I’m having a slow morning and it takes me a second to realize that it’s pointing to the only entrance to the house.
The first thing I see is an old, bearded man wearing a dirty wife-beater, tooling around in a Hoveround chair. The second thing my eye goes to is the naked lady wall calendar and I’m unsure if this is actually a place to by eggs. My attention is diverted back to the man when he says “I know what YOU want…”
My fight or flight instinct has been on the fritz lately and it kicks in. But before I have time to make a decision, the man follows up with: “EGGS! I got ‘em in dozen or 18-packs.” He then motors off into the back room with me calling after him “Eighteen please!”
I’m trying to avoid eye-contact with the lady in the calendar so I look up and find a really great collection of old beer cans lining the top shelves. I pointedly examine them until he returns.
He is carrying a styrofoam tray on his lap and smiling so much that I’m instantly disarmed and charmed. Before I can pay he opens the carton to show me a gorgeous array of pearl, green and brown eggs. He is obviously (and rightly) proud, which leaves me feeling honored that he is sharing his eggs with me. I hand over $7 and continue on to the beach looking for more adventures.
———————
The next morning I announce that I’m making fried eggs with hollandaise sauce. I was expecting enthusiasm but am met with silence. No one actually said “But, we don’t have any bread” or “That sounds weird” so I take their silence as permission to proceed.
Awhile back my mom found this great, fool-proof recipe for hollandaise that, oddly enough, is from a Cuisinart manual. It is SO easy, but I manage to fuck it up.
First my butter explodes in the microwave, coating every surface in a deluge of grease. Then the butter that’s still left in the dish cools too much, so when I pour it into the Cuisinart it doesn’t thicken the sauce. I switch to the stove top method, but with less than 5 seconds of heat it’s the consistency of spackle. My fried eggs are done at this point and since no one really wanted the hollandaise to begin with, I don’t attempt to fix it.
It turns out that crazy thick hollandaise still tastes great. Although it is weird to eat egg sauce over eggs with nothing else. The best thing was the color. The yolks were so fresh that they produced a hollandaise the color of marigolds. Beautiful.
My mom likes to tell the story of my first Christmas as a toddler, in which I nearly hyperventilated while jumping up and down in my Johnny Jumper at the first sight of a wrapped present. These days I can usually keep my excitement under wraps, but when Josh from Skillet sent me a jar of BACON JAM I could feel my heart rate go up and my breath quicken. I was in the middle of a conversation which I quickly broke off when I spotted the package on the mail shelf. I tore into the box to find a small jar of dirt-colored paste. Honestly, it did not look appetizing, but that didn’t stop me from opening the jar right there in the lobby. I took one whiff of intoxicating bacon and plunged my finger right in.
This stuff is GOOD. Packed full of bacon, but also tempered with caramelized onions and a vinegary counterbalance that reminds me of chutney. I tried it on bagels with a bit of turkey (YUM), as a pizza base (YUM) and even stirred it into cottage cheese as a snack (YUM). I can’t wait to head down to Skillet and try it on their burger.
Thank you Josh!
And its’ name is BACON SALT.
I met with Dave, one of the geniuses behind Bacon Salt, a few weeks ago to try out the product. I was leery because of my past experience with Bacon Spray, but this stuff is the real deal. Completely tastes like bacon. And it’s fantastic on fries. And chicken. And maybe even licked straight out of the container.
The only thing to remember is that this is indeed salt, and unlike other things (i.e. bacon), you actually CAN have too much salt. So use it judiciously. But use it often.
I might be the only one that finds this funny:
My first post in months (and months) is actually to guide you to another site.
Celia Cheng at Cravings recently interviewed me for her special feature on the year of the pig: I HEART OINKERS!!!
Thanks Celia! Happy (Chinese) New Year!
What happens when a vegetarian starts eating meat again? 30 days of pork.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandydale/tags/30daysofpork/
A friend sent me this and I thought it was pretty damn funny:
http://www.jalanjalan.com/letters/pages%20and%20menus/industry.html#pork
Or pure genius. I can’t quite tell…
The second annual Independent Food Festival is here, and I have been asked to give an award. I know it’s predictable, but something in the world would be amiss if I didn’t give my award to bacon. Not that I’m giving this award out randomly; this bacon truly deserves an award—or maybe even several. So I present to you the 2006 Independent Food Award – Best Result of Pigs Gone Wild: Wild Boar Bacon.
I discovered wild boar bacon about a year ago and ever since have made it my mission to introduce it to as many people as possible. I’m like a drug dealer except what I’m pushing is legal and much better than crack (so I’m told).
In researching my award, I was shocked to find out that there are an estimated two million wild boar (a.k.a. feral hogs) roaming wild and free in the state of Texas. So many that they are deemed pests—albeit 200 pound pests with razor sharp tusks and a nasty fighting technique called disembowelment. Wild boar are also 90% vegetarian (i.e. they create significant crop damage) and have no natural predators, so hunting season for wild boar is open year-round with no limits, and can be hunted by any means possible, at any time of day.
For this particular bacon, the meat comes from Southern Wild Game, Inc out of Devine, Texas where freelance trappers can exchange their hogs for cash. The wild boar are then sold to Sierra Meats in Reno, Nevada, which then sends the bellies to Dale’s Exotic Game Meats in Brighton, Colorado for smoking. The boar bellies spend 2-3 hours in a vacuum tumbler with a salt and sugar brine, then are cold smoked over hickory for 10 hours. Then the bacon travels to Exotic Meats in Bellevue, Washington where it can be purchased by the public. Yes, the food miles are ridiculous, but this bacon is so worth it.
UPDATE: Keiko just posted a beautiful award for rare breed pigs… check it out!
====================
THE BACON RATING SYSTEM
====================
(see B.R.S. for more information)
BACON STATS
Brand: n/a
Name: Wild Boar Bacon
Cost per pound: $9.50 (sold in 1-2 pound packs)
Where purchased: http://www.exoticmeats.com
Packaging: Vacuum-sealed in thick plastic and flash frozen
Cut: Whole slab; sliced at home into medium-thick slices
Preservatives: Sodium nitrate
Cooking heat: Low
Total cooking time: 25-30 minutes
BACON RATING
Pork Flavor
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much
Smoke
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much
Salt
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much
Sugar
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much
Fat
not enough << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too much
Texture
too chewy << 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 >> too crisp
OVERALL SCORE: 4.67 out of 5
BACON TASTING NOTES
Tagged: Independent Food Festival Award, wild boar bacon, bacon review
